Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
