Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize