Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
