Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
