yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
