i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize