69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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