I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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