what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize