Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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