I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
