youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
