she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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