Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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