fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm always down for nudity.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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