I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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