is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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