laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
