I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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