Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
