My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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