I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize