I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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