we have officially lost it.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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