watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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