it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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