i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
