Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
