i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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