we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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