i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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