I wish my penis had an off switch
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
