she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
