didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
