Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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