Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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