do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
