I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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