I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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