Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
