ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize