So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
