$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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