We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize