Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
