I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
