So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize