you would pick up someone in the library
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
