Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
