I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she smelled like a LAN party
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
