Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
