Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
