her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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