that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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