are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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