it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
