then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
