Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize