That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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