i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just had sex on a roof
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize