ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
