I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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