I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
