Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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