Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
