then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
