Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
