Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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