THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
