I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
