So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
